Positivity

Positivity

I’m actively trying to be a more positive person. After a life time of ‘glass half empty’ outlooks and being rather predisposed to negativity, I cannot say it’s going to be easy. But I think it’s worth it. The anxiety being a negative nelly generates in me is the root of many problems in my life, mainly my depression. As far back as I can remember, I’ve suffer from anxiety, from hive-breakouts when I was a child, to the much deeper manifestation it takes as an adult.

I put a lot of pressure on myself and when I fail to be the best (in my eyes), I break down.

I am no longer going to compare myself to others, worry about what others think or what they’re doing. The focus is going to be on me, what I’ve achieved and what I can achieve using my talent. No more doubting myself. I know I have talent. I also I know I still have a long way to go, illustration-wise, but I do know it comes naturally to me and that I am good at it. I said it, I am good. Now, I don’t always believe that, as we all have our doubts about ourselves, but my long-term aim is to believe it and utilise it to the best of my ability. I want to be a confident, happy person. Not a lot to ask – whilst I’d love to win the lottery or a multitude of other things, they’re not going to make my happy deep down. I want to be happy by default. It’s going to be a long journey and it starts with turning negative thoughts into positive ones. Where that’s not possible, it’s about shrugging it off and seeing ways around it and finding the good somewhere else to focus on.

Those who know me in person know this will be a challenge, but it’s something I need to do and want to do. I’m sick of being unstable and emotional. I am going to be a better person and I am going to make it, no matter what anyone else says.